Absorption

A recent realization, is that I may of grew up trying to understand people too much.

I became an absorber.

I absorbed information, mood shifts, emotional patterns, and the subtle changes that often went unnoticed. Before I understood people with words, I understood them through what they carried.

We all live within our own realm of understanding.

Mine began with absorption.

Picture me as a sponge.

Every conversation, every sigh, every shift in expression became another drop of water. I soaked in other people’s fears, disappointments, worries, and grief.

Not because I wanted to judge them.

Not because I wanted to become them.

I simply cared.

Somewhere along the way, caring quietly became consuming.

I wasn’t just witnessing pain. I was carrying it like it was my own.

The strange part is that absorption feels like compassion while it’s happening. It feels like love. It feels like helping in a way.

But eventually the sponge becomes saturated.

There is no room left for your own thoughts.

I’ve started wondering if support was never meant to look like absorption.

Maybe the strongest people aren’t the ones who take another person’s pain into themselves.

Maybe they’re the ones who can stand beside it without letting it become their own.

Maybe I have it in me to stop being an absorber and start becoming a supporter..

The way it was intended to be.

-Ray 🤍🕊️